Farts. I have blasted more than 500 of them today. I have discovered that anti-inflammatories cause eruptions of the anus in a bigger way than 50 pounds of beans and broccoli. Arthrotec is the culprit. 300 years ago they would amputate your foot if your big toe got hit with a gout attack. Gout hurts, but fortunately we now know that it’s not the result of Satan having sex with your joints, it is merely the result of tooooo much uric acid in your blood.
The anti-inflammatory Apo-Indomethacin was one I used to use, but it is very fucking mind-altering. It made me paranoid and jittery. Arthrotec has none of those properties, but it does really hurt your stomach and it really makes you fart. The piss-off on this, and the only piss-off is that my digital recorder was out with my team so I could not capture all 500 of those musical notes. Shit. And Shit is exactly what the whole house smells like tonight. Wanna play cards?
